“Dad, Duff just took a corner… But Lampard takes all the corners.” DS1 is watching the DVD of Chelsea’s 2004/05 Premier League-winning season – for what seems like the millionth time. “Lampard was being rested for that game,” I reply. “What? Lampard was being rested?” He always repeats a fact I give him, as though he doesn’t quite believe it. Then he continues as if he knew that piece of information in the first place.

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“What did you have for lunch today,” I ask. “Jacket.” “And pudding?” “I never have pudding.” DS1 has school lunches. The meals on offer are varied, but like any child he has his likes and dislikes. Fish and chips, sausage and mash, spaghetti bolognese are favourites. Anything else, and he’ll have a jacket potato with cheese. He never eats pudding. It may not cover all the required food groups, but at least he’s having a

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“Come on, let’s do your reading,” I say. “No.” “OK, so what are you going to do? Remember there’s no iPad until you’ve done your homework.” Resigned to his fate, he picks up his reading book. He sits down and starts reading. Well, maybe. He’s looking at the book, turning pages, but not reading out loud. “You need to read out loud, so that I can hear you,” I say. “I am.” You’re not.” “I

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NAMIBIA 2012  We were on the road again, this time towards the NamibRand Nature Reserve. As we leave the highway, en route to Wolwedans Dunes Lodge, we encounter numerous springbok, oryx and zebra. The springbok run and leap in front of our car, accompanying us as we make our way along the 20km track that leads to the lodge reception – a personal antelope escort service. The lodge overlooks the plains, and the mountains beyond.

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“That is a ridiculous game you play on your phone,” says DS1, as his Mum destroys coloured blobs in Candy Gummy Crush or whatever it’s called. “Dad thinks that, too,” she replies. “Did he say that?” DS1 asks. “No.” “How do you know he thinks that then?” he continues with his inquisition. “I can tell by the way his face and body look when he sees me play it,” she explains. “No, you can’t!” he

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The rules are simple, but the choices are less straightforward. Assuming money was no object, where would an A-Z tour of European football end up taking you? As a well-travelled 48-year-old Chelsea season ticket holder, I’ve had my fair share of trips to the continent following the Blues and England. Moscow, Munich, Barcelona, and Zagreb among others spring to mind, but there is still an untold amount of places – and clubs – to discover. In

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NAMIBIA 2012 It’s hot. And I’m sweating profusely, despite the air con. A complete contrast to the freezing December weather we left behind in the UK; our winter coats thrown into the depths of the boot of our 4WD, to be left unseen for the next two weeks. We drive out of Windhoek, heading for the wilderness of Erongo. After a couple of hours easy travelling on smooth tarmac we turn off the highway on

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